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Inside every Older person is a Younger person wondering
What the Hell happened ?

Old Addage

There's nothing wrong with me
I'm as healthy as can be.
So I have arthritis in both knees
And when I talk it's with a wheeze.
My pulse is weak and my blood is thin
But I'm awfully well for the state I'm in.

Arch supports I have for my feet,
Or I wouldn't be able to walk down the street.
Sleep is denied me night after night,
But every morning I find I'm alright.
My memory is fading, my head's in a spin,
But I'm awfully well for the state I'm in.

The moral is, as this tale unfolds,
That for you and me who are growing old
It's better to say "I'm fine" with a grin,
Than to let the folks know the state I'm in.
How do I know that my youth is all spent ?
When my get up and go, has got up and went.
But I really don't mind, when I think with a grin,
Of all the places my get up has been,
And I'm awfully well for the state I'm in.

Old age is golden I've heard it said.
But sometimes I wonder as I get into bed,
With my ears in the drawer, my teeth in a cup,
And my eyes on the table until I wake up.
Ere sleep comes over me, I ask myself,
Is there anything else I should lay on the shelf.
Still I'm awfully well for the state I'm in.

When I was young my slippers were red
I could kick my heels right over my head.
When I grew older my slippers were blue,
But still I could dance the whole night through.
Now I am old my slippers are black
I walk to the stores and puff my way back.
I get up each morning and dust off my wits,
Pick up the paper and read the Obits.
If my name is not in them I know I'm not dead,
So I have a good breakfast and go back to bed.


My Prayer

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my shape to keep.
Please no wrinkles, Please no bags -
And, Please lift my butt before it sags.
Please no age spots, Please no grey -
And, as for my belly, Please take it away.
Please keep me healthy, Please keep me young,
And thank you Dear Lord for all that you've done !